Friday, December 22, 2006

last chants 2 ordre b4 XXXMAS

thids not SPADNM

purchase now 1 CONTENT ANnIHILATOR 14.95/yr for all that remains

not a NIGERIAN SCAM artist here, but real product for make life easyer.

add 1 CONTENT ANNIHILATOR to purchase bucket for fine times, easy XMAS, what

edifying results

Results 1 - 10 of about 265 for how hard hippie haters heckle holly hobby (heavily). (0.18 seconds)

Friday, December 15, 2006

polonium is no joke

Batman: [reading a riddle] What has yellow skin and writes?
Robin: A ball-point banana!
Batman: [reads the second riddle] What people are always in a hurry?
Robin: Rushing people... Russians!
Batman: So this means...
Robin: Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana and break their neck!
Batman: Precisely, Robin!

when rastas in movies say bloodclot, the dubbed tv version should say shazbot

Results 1 - 3 of 3 for why do rastafarians always say shazbot?. (0.27 seconds)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

We need a real definition, AKA there's a first time for everything

Your search - And I have been ridonculated through the power of the mighty spatulae - did not match any documents.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Really, it's the point of this whole exercise

Your search - "words spoken never in this order have been" - did not match any documents.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

reason #1 that the earth will soon implode

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,630,000 for what do rock bands get paid?. (0.27 seconds)

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********


original observation & linky thanx via:

Thursday, November 30, 2006


Results 1 - 10 of about 9,410,000 for flicker. (0.16 seconds)

Results 1 - 10 of about 14,000,000 for flickr. (0.14 seconds)

the best in football naming

1) Domonique Foxworth
2) Plaxico Burress
3) Cortez Hankton
4) LaDainian Tomlinson
5) Cedric Killings
6) Bradlee Van Pelt
7) Reuben Droughns
8) LeCharles Bentley
9) Tully Banta-Cain
10) Lavaerneus Coles

Saturday, November 25, 2006



Friday, November 17, 2006

I never put anything in my ear except my elbow

Results 1 - 10 of about 35,900 for what light through yonder window poops. (0.20 seconds)

the Top 10 Celebrity Stars Who Pick Their Noses And Totally Eat It

1) Tom Hanks
2) Clive Barker
3) Dakota Fanning
4) Ashlee Simpson
5) Cameron Diaz
6) Cary Grant
7) Alonzo Mourning
8) Hideki Nomo
9) Winston Churchill
10) Ron Popeil

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Why, Captain, are you hungry?

Results 1 - 3 of 3 for Scottie, I need exact coordinates on the location of GG's fuc. (0.43 seconds)

many repubs pwnt

stand back you fool it will kill us all

Results 1 - 10 of about 101,000 for mighty spatula. (0.22 seconds)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I'm afraid I must insist

Results 1 - 10 of about 193,000 for gimme your lunch monkey. (0.45 seconds)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Thursday, November 02, 2006

diminishing returns

Results 1 - 10 of about 660,000 for Ryan Adams birthday November 5. (0.35 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 416,000 for Bryan Adams birthday November 5. (0.32 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 73,400 for Gram Parsons birthday November 5. (0.33 seconds)

I just can't stop saying

Results 1 - 10 of about 247 for snop snitchin. (0.26 seconds)

Monday, October 30, 2006

halloween is fun, do halloween

I'll, show, you, linear, positioning

Results 1 - 10 of about 909,000 for robot dick jokes. (0.14 seconds)

Friday, October 27, 2006

be vewwy vewwy quiet

Results 1 - 10 of about 72,300 for progcast. (0.20 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 29,100 for bodcast. (0.36 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 22,000 for modcast. (0.48 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 14,300 for pawedcast. (0.44 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 167 for todcast. (0.31 seconds)

Your search - fuddcast - did not match any documents.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

1 cool rock baby listening to Neu!

Way High, No?

Results 1 - 10 of about 38,600 for ungoogleable. (0.15 seconds)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

oh, sweet hungarian tankblogging

Results 1 - 1 of 1 for ok, if a hungarian protester steals a tank from a 50th anniversary of uprising display & uses it to uprise, is that ironic?. (0.25 seconds)


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

ok now that we are tracking our ratings you ppl need to seriously click more

Results 1 - 10 of about 362 for paris hilton in nude spatula shocker. (0.50 seconds)

Monday, October 23, 2006

seems appropriately bloggish

Results 1 - 10 of about 14 for "I would smile all day long, every day, if it guaranteed a unicorn getting punched in the face.". (0.22 seconds)

oh no japanese tv show mess with you again

Friday, October 20, 2006

Thursday, October 19, 2006

we hold these truths

Results 1 - 10 of about 74,600 for spatula blogging

martha you crazy baby eater

xween is coming! to be followed by xgiving!

seldom seen

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

suck monkey balls

Results 1 - 10 of about 59 for "sucking monkey balls". (0.34 seconds)

Ok, so monkey balls are the hot new trend in the streets.

it's 2 necklaces. 1 is a plaque that comes in different styles, from plain gold to jewel-encrusted, that says "I'M SUCKING MONKEY BALLS"

the 2nd is the same kind of chain, but on the end is little metal monkey testicles. you put them in your mouth when you want to look fresh, or when you are chilling. All who lack monkey balls will envy you!

Henceforth, when you say "that sucks monkey balls", it means that the thing you are talking about is totally awesome.
When something "does not suck even one measly monkey ball", it is very boring and lame.

One competing product is Duck Butt, which is pretty cool, but if you're sucking duck butt & you run into someone sucking monkey balls it will be real embarassing for you. So suck Monkey Balls™!

Monkey Balls LLC is looking for investors to make our dream a reality.

teh cuet




Tuesday, October 17, 2006

original content

how are we stopping Shaq this year?

hit him so he throws free throws - Hack-a-Shaq

put Randolph on him - Zach-a-Shaq

attach RFID tags to him to know his movements - LoJack-a-Shaq

chase him with paparazzi - Kodak-a-Shaq

induce vomiting - Ipecac-a-Shaq

overfeed - Snack-a-Shaq

plague him with car trouble - Click & Clack-a-Shaq

trample him with ungulates - Yak-a-Shaq

distract him with the new SUVs - Cadillac-a-Shaq

abandon him in the Land of the Lost - Sleestak-a-Shaq

betray him to the North Koreans during CIA operation - Blowback-a-Shaq

occupy him with learning a Urinals cover song - Ack Ack Ack-a-Shaq

weigh him down with Bloomin' Onions and steaks- Outback-a-Shaq

lower the temperature in the arena to an absurd degree - Anorak-a-Shaq

get him drunk - 6 Pack-a-Shaq (a.k.a. BuyBack-a-Shaq)

give him the subgenius lowdown about Yetis & Pink Boys, and mentally prepare him for X-Day so he thinks basketball is unimportant - Slack-a-Shaq

release the bears - Kodiak-a-Shaq

suck most of the blood out of his body - Drac-a-Shaq

kick in balls - Nutsack-a-Shaq

convince him that he is the messiah - Kwisatz Haderach-a-Shaq

have Steve Albini produce his new album - Big Black-a-Shaq (a.k.a. Shellac-a-Shaq)

put him on an album of syrupy duets - Burt Bacharach-a-Shaq

remix! - Bring that Beat Back-a-Shaq

at Staples Center, have Nicholson moon him to distract - Jack's Crack-a-Shaq

Monday, October 16, 2006

is joke

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jew and the Moslems. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall!"

early political newsfritz edition stop the presses

Results 1 - 10 of about 241,000 for suck it, liberals - foley '08. (0.29 seconds)

Friday, October 13, 2006

the long wait is over

Results 1 - 10 of about 327,000 for musicians wanted for nude band. (0.28 seconds)

Thursday, October 12, 2006


coming tomorrow: the search for "musicians wanted for nude band"

google youself at risk of spoilers

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Also rans?

Results 1 - 10 of about 190 for Kim jong il has the coolest hair of any tyrant since forever. (0.44 seconds)

First Endorsement -- The Rent is Too Damn High! for NY Governor

Despite the disconcerting removal of 'damn' from the name, Googlefritz gives its full-throated and unqualified endorsement for the office of Governor of the State of New York to "The Rent is too High" party."

Only the inclusion of unmitigated F-bombs could swive our political allegiances any closer to this noble party platform, and even the risk of divulging what state in which this highly secretive blog is located cannot prevent us from raising our voices as one: YES! THE RENTS IS TOO HIGH! VIVA JIMMY MCMILLAN!

Googlefritz is nothing if not a hedge-shop. With that in mind, we extend our endorsement of Mr. McMillan to not only the Governor's office in Albany, but any and all open seats across the great Empire state.

As the man himself says: "Rents are too high! There's nothing else to talk about!"

also please let us know immediately if you know of any apartments opening up like real soon

oh yeah...

just remembered I met this dude last night from Akron in the bar, he overheard me talking about the Black Keys, we started talking about music, and then all of a sudden my worldview was shattered -

he. had. never. heard. of. Devo!

when I got incredulous and started re-enacting the Whip It video he was like "oh, yeah", but he had no concept they were a decent rock and roll band.

I thought everyone loved Devo, especially the state of Ohio.

oh yeah that is what the internet and computer blogging is about

this is cool.

little known fact: noone currently living on earth is able to remember what life was like before the youtube

this is the famous and probably seen before ALBUM COVERS WAR

now that is a fine whisky

Results 1 - 10 of about 520,000 for I almost want to wear it like cologne. (0.56 seconds)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

heffalump rump

too much information:

[17:06] axxxxxxxxx: Results 1 - 10 of about 106 for be patient with Stoudemire to avoid another Hardaway. (0.44 seconds)
[17:07] mxxxxxx: my worst fear at this point
[17:07] axxxxxxxxx: my worst fear is elephant rape
[17:07] axxxxxxxxx: young male elephants in Pilanesberg National Park and the Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Game Reserve in South Africa have been raping and killing rhinoceroses; this abnormal behavior, according to a 2001 study in the journal Pachyderm, has been reported in ‘‘a number of reserves’’ in the region. In July of last year, officials in Pilanesberg shot three young male elephants who were responsible for the killings of 63 rhinos, as well as attacks on people in safari vehicles.
[17:07] mxxxxxx: ha

Maybe the Supreme Leader will know

Results 1 - 1 of 1 for Hey nuge, should I use a high-powered bow or shotgun muzzle to get that hard-to-reach itchy spot on my back?. (0.54 seconds)

Monday, October 09, 2006

a simple truth

Your search - "stephon marbury is the best passer" - did not match any documents.

Looks like I'll have to answer this myself

Your search - "what kind of wine goes best with vodka"? - did not match any documents.

one more thing bothering me

Results 1 - 3 of about 11 for "columbo's day". (0.36 seconds)

all your in jokes are belong to us

Your search - "are you calling me a stapler?" - did not match any documents.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

the bollywood Disco Stu

off with his head

Results 1 - 10 of about 2,680,000 for death to the democrat foley. (0.28 seconds)


Results 1 - 10 of about 242,000 for did yuo mean?. (0.20 seconds)

Did you mean: did you mean?

New Wave of Antarctic Laptop Metal

____----====**CLIMATOLOGIST is coming**====----____

These warnings begin to sound as stockyard: THIS THEY IS VERY LIMITED. THIS THEY WILL VERY PROBABLY ALREADY BE FROM THE PRINTED MATTER UNTIL YOU READ THIS. WE TOOK the LAST 50 COPIES AND WE WILL NOT NEVER BE IN PLACE WE TAKE MORE!! LIMITED LIMITED LIMITED!!! but as all well stockyard, it pays in order to it is careful the reasonable advices that are included in, and in this case the advices would be choice one from ayto'.ton above fast as before they go their for good. A outline in the splinters is long in the environmental "file of work" from CLIMATOLOGIST , that circulates in the South hemisphere deep knowledge of labels, lp only, that is pressed densely red in vinyl and as can you had supposed EXCEPTIONALLY LIMITED. This part that renders CLIMATOLOGIST the files so much powerful and it charms is Ekkxoh's property of disposal and environment, so much here takes it explores a entire album of chills and depressing atmospheres. But this is not clean environmental musical, his environment is only obvious when it is compared with the dense complex healthy world of other of climatologist releases. This is not static environment, no in less, these is real songs, not only creepily swooshings and simple drones. The outline is always as a entire file fjagme'no above better blacks of intros metals, but here, each one skliragwgej'taj outside in the really musical narratives. The skeletjkoj' numbers, the bent and shimmer guitars darkly beyond ominous pri'zontaj the sad secondary key crinoy'n. What few percussion is there, it hovers ghostlike under a washing of blackened swirl. The entire file is wrapped in a foggy investor of starlit skies and dark underground passages. Froths sound band in the infelicity and the horror, the death and the death.

pretty sure not funny

Results 1 - 10 of about 85,500 for "it's funny because it's true". (0.22 seconds)

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,040 for "it's funny because it's not true". (0.51 seconds)

Results 1 - 10 of about 558 for "it's not funny because it's true". (0.50 seconds)

Results 1 - 3 of about 226 for "it's not funny because it's not true". (0.42 seconds)

enduring freedom spatulas

Results 1 - 10 of about 78,600 for send a spatula to your boy in the army. (0.28 seconds)

not true

Results 1 - 10 of about 298,000 for donuts are a privilege, not a right. (0.27 seconds)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Don't any of you people know how to have a good time?

Your search - "TOGA RUMBLE!" - did not match any documents.

No doubt a more widely shared sentiment than the results would suggest

Your search - Helsinki? More like HellSUCKi - did not match any documents.

"Healthy Woman Roof"

Results 1 - 10 of about 14,000 for Marquis Daniels' tattoo says what?. (0.36 seconds)

see also:
Demon Bird Moth Balls

no, I think those are howlers

Results 1 - 10 of about 99 for are colobus monkeys the ones that throw poop?. (0.42 seconds)


Results 1 - 2 of about 4 for "dog nuts stun god". (0.25 seconds)


[13:34] mxxxxxx: Your search - "heaven must have one hell of a blog" - did not match any documents.
[13:34] axxxxxxxxxx: lol
[13:35] axxxxxxxxxx: Results 1 - 10 of about 574,000 for spatula blog. (0.30 seconds)
[13:38] mxxxxxx: damn
[13:39] mxxxxxx: Your search - "you've been so totally blogged" - did not match any documents.
[13:39] axxxxxxxxxx: ha
[13:45] axxxxxxxxxx: Results 1 - 10 of about 594 for blogging bloggers blogged bloggy bloggish blog
[13:45] mxxxxxx: ha
[13:46] mxxxxxx: but what about the aforementioned with the suffix
[13:46] mxxxxxx: ?
[13:46] axxxxxxxxxx: is it too bloggy?
[13:46] mxxxxxx: fair degree of blogishness

Dutch band alert

Mast Gummen & the Terrace

these guys played last night down at the Earwig & Castle. Hot Licks! I think they are stopping next in Indianapolis, check it out